Work and Depression


Right now, I have four other draft posts sitting unfinished (mind you, I just started posting again only a week ago). And about 100 unfinished craft projects. Not to mention the thousands of dollars worth of crafting/artistic supplies I one day had big (huge) dreams for. I read this article that one of my friends posted on Facebook, and I felt like I totally could relate (minus the immigrant references, but I think I somewhat understand).





So my 11-year-old son started Ritalin yesterday… just one day after he officially received his diagnosis of ADD (without hyperactivity). We have three more weeks of school and I want to see if this makes a difference before  summer comes and the expectations are less demanding. I’m still struggling with trying to figure out how I feel about this whole “meds” thing. A part of me is relieved that we finally maybe can “solve” the issues in school that have concerned me for the past five years. A part of me is still in denial that *my son* needs medication. Another part of me blames myself for not being able to “fix” him like I used to “fix” my patients (without medication). Overall, I think the strongest emotion I’m currently feeling is guilt. If it works, I’ll feel guilty for not agreeing to meds earlier. If it doesn’t work, I’ll feel guilty that we’re back to square one. If he feels any side effects, I’ll feel guilty that I couldn’t help him without meds. If it either works or doesn’t work, I’ll feel guilty that my job has always come first and that had I dedicated more time to him or had more patience with him, we wouldn’t be in the situation we’re in now. The rational side of my brain says that the worse thing we could do is to do nothing at all and that ADD is not the end of the world. I know these things, but the guilt’s got me in an irrational funk that’s hard to ignore. So here’s hoping for whatever Ritalin is meant to do for my son…

a to z: y is for yawn… and YES

If you’ve been following my blog, you might recall how I’ve posted about how much work I’ve been bogged down with lately and how pooped and exhausted it’s left me.

Today is no exception… hence, the yawn.

However, the YES is representative of many things.

  • The celebration of the near conclusion of this A to Z, my first, blogging challenge.
  • My response when my name is called (and the way my children respond when their names are called).
  • The answer I give when asked for a favor even before knowing what it is I’m agreeing to.
  • Knowing that after this week my workload will significantly decrease.
  • How I feel when informed that I already have people fighting for a position for me that I hope to secure upon passing my Nursing Home Administrator’s exam.