overwhelmed… too many tabs open…

Mental illness quote: Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively.:

I do BOTH (too many things in succession too fast AND one thing too exclusively) and feel like this is what contributes to my current state of feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed (or mad). This, in conjunction with my OCD personality and high expectations, makes life feel like it’s spiraling out of control… and a brain that feels like it’s going to explode…

Image of My Brain Has Too Many Tabs Open:

a to z: i is for i fight the power (unemotionally)

Warning: humor + feminism + past experiences + insight = my opinionated post that some may find offensive.

In the corporate workplace, personal characteristics are scrutinized. Performance is appreciated, but who you are is constantly under judgment. People’s characteristics fuel office politics and gossip. Not achievements. Not the people themselves for who they are.

These characteristics are ambiguous and subjective and highly dependent on situational variables and industries. Impartiality in an educator could be negatively viewed as cold and unaccommodating; yet, impartiality in a judge may be positively viewed as logical and unbiased. Even further, impartiality in a teacher may be negative when working with students with special needs, yet positive when mediating an argument between two students.

Fighting authority, for one person, may mean asserting independence (aggressively and individually standing up against unjust authority). For another, fighting authority may mean rebelling against unrealistic demands (maybe in the form of passive aggressiveness). How one chooses to expose these characteristics results in corporate labels. “She’s one of those people who does her own thing.” “She’s one of those people who doesn’t do shit for herself.”

Above is my list (in no particular order other than alphabetical) of my own characteristics and my own opinion of where I usually am on each continuum of characteristics. The reason for this list is to better explain what I’m like when I emotionally fight corporate authority. With the exception of “impartial,” all other characteristics slide all the way to the right… to the “too much” side. That’s me in a nutshell when I’m partaking in emotional fighting. Conversely, when I’m too complacent and feeling “low,” I tend to slide all the way to the left side, again with “impartial” as the exception, sliding all the way to the right.

When I fight authority and take a non-emotional stand against “the man,” I win. In reality, I think what really happens is that I’m able to create a situation that doesn’t need fighting. So essentially, I win. We all win. No anecdotal advice on how to win here. Just a combination of characteristics that just so happen to work well together (in my opinion) to take an unpleasant/unfair/negative situation and transform it into an amicable one… as long as I remain unemotional. That’s how I win.

daily prompt: sixteen tons + personality types

A day late daily prompt, but better late than never.  Plus, I wanted to share an enlightening exercise re: personality types (and how they relate to career choices).

Daily Prompt: Sixteen Tons – How do you feel about your job? Do you spring out of bed, looking forward to work? Or, is your job a soul-destroying monotony of pure drudgery, or somewhere in between?

A few months ago, I made one of the hardest decisions in my life.  To quit my job.

I recently posted about being a guest contributor where I wrote about my journey to new beginnings and how this decision has lead to priceless enrichment.

This brings me to my next related topic: personality types.  I am a true believer in experimenting and trying things out for yourself.  You never know until you try.  However, I also believe that certain personality traits, either blatantly or subliminally, help or hinder success, enjoyment, efficiency, etc.

Chris over at 61 Musings posted about personality tests that you can take to determine your personality type.  I opted for the free test.  Results classified me as an INTJ (Introvert, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging), although it did say I showed “moderate” preference for each characteristic (33% preference of introversion over extraversion, 38% preference of intuition over sensing, 25% preference of thinking over feeling, and 33% preference of judging over perceiving).  As a side note, I took a similar test a few months ago and at that time, I was classified as an INTP.  Interesting.  Chris also provides links to another site that creates those wonderful heads full of characteristics and stressors for each type.  Here are the heads for my type: